firend/privacy/trust advice

[xentis]

ok well i came across a video to day of one of my friends I used to go to High school with

It was a very "private" video sent to someone whom she really trusts and now its uploaded in allot of places


How do i tell her that he uploaded it to all different sites and everyone can see this "private" video

she trusted him allot and i haven't talked to her in awhile, cause we got into this big argument, and she could blame me for doing it cause way back i monitored her activity on her computer, but i had "good" reasons for doing that

I really Don't know what to do....cause if i dont do something I'll feel bad, but i don't want to get her even angryer with me


(if you dont understand ill try my best to reword it)

[Kasdeja]

Find a way to send her the link anonymously? That's a tough one...she definitely deserves to know, but I can understand how it would be hard for you to tell her.

[xentis]

Find a way to send her the link anonymously? That's a tough one...she definitely deserves to know, but I can understand how it would be hard for you to tell her.

well i was also thinking, what if he wasn't the one who uploaded it?

i just checked and there was another upload of this video with "Webcam Spycam" in the title but m not familiar with spycam and how it works ,or if its just something the person put in the title to get more hits

because then it could lead to many things

a few

A:her and her boyfriend breaking up and I get blamed
9:they just argue and then i get blamed for everything
z:He did do it and i look like a HERO

also im gonna go search for orange sluurpies around her house

[Kasdeja]

She should definitely know...but I don't know what that is, either. I wish I were more help.

[Jamidru]

She should know.
Somehow.

[Renegade]

well i was also thinking, what if he wasn't the one who uploaded it?

i just checked and there was another upload of this video with "Webcam Spycam" in the title but m not familiar with spycam and how it works ,or if its just something the person put in the title to get more hits

If it is the kind of content I assume it is, then you can be pretty sure it's just a "marketing ploy", so to speak.
I never attempted hacking a webcam, but look at it this way: If you were a third-party intruder to her webcam, you'd have to monitor it almost 24/7 in order to catch her "doing something". Would you want to monitor a single person all day, just because she might just do something "interesting"?
Also, check for interaction. If she's just...sitting there, with no acknowledgement of the webcam, she might have been unaware; however, if she looks at the camera, talks to it, or interrupts to send an IM, she's definitely aware that the webcam is on, suggesting it's someone she knows and trusts.
(Or a random stranger on the internet...if she is that type of girl.)

because then it could lead to many things

a few

A:her and her boyfriend breaking up and I get blamed
9:they just argue and then i get blamed for everything
z:He did do it and i look like a HERO

also im gonna go search for orange sluurpies around her house

If you send her the link anonymously, and don't ever mention you know about it, neither of them can blame you. (Simply because you're not part of the picture.)
However, if you're not sure it was him, don't accuse him. (Also because "somebody who knows both him and me" limits the list of possible senders to much fewer people than "how did he get my e-mail address?".) Instead, write something like "Do you know this is floating around the web?". Either she...err..."hot plugs" with many people, then she might not even care, or she did it only with one person/few people, then she'll automatically know who released it.


Either way, keep in mind: "Anonymous" means do not use your own mail or IM accounts, and don't hint at it in real life.
If she finds out you knew IRL, but not that you sent the mail, she might go "why didn't you say anything???" and think you're a pervert who doesn't care about her. Keep quiet about this. If she comes talking to you, and knows for a fact who released the footage, you might come forward and tell her it was you who send that link, because you didn't know who released it and were afraid she'd blame you. But only do this if she really knows who did it. Otherwise, you're just seeding doubt.

Although the interesting question is...what were you doing monitoring her computer?

[xentis]

about the spycam thing, i thought it might be something like it records when you're recording


thanks for the info,


about the monitoring long story, cause you wouldn't even understand it if i summarized it, ill post it after i go do some stuff (get Cathy's Book: If Found Call 650-266-8233)

[xentis]

ok well, well call this girl hmm name name what to name her.....bee(has nothing to do with bree alto it is close)


well bee and i meet in middle school at a bus stop (pause story) ok well first i have to let you know in those days i had A LOT of "issues" like freaking out and what not (resume story) and she was nice and all, we became friends , made 2 other friends.. now i only hung around the other two when i was around bee , no one ever would joke around like "FU" type of stuff, i guess it should have tipped me off a bit but it didn't


well eventually we started "dating" , she asked me to go to a old gerriteys(sp?) which was closed cause they relocated with one of her friends whom i never met


wasn't able to make it and i never knew what she wanted to do there any who

we would write notes to each other in school<---this is very important part of story

well, now "I" got a new.....jeez what were they called OH YA mobile "the rapist" well ends of she had one too and we ended up with the same one,

now she never told me she was in counsellings,

how i found out


i guess some how therapist found out that i was dating her
bee said she found a note of mine on her room floor but i don't know , it is believable

so the therapist keeps trying to bring my girlfriend up and she tells me she is her therapist too, now i don't think there really allowed to do that but whatever

and we talked about bee for a bit and it seemed she was hinting for me to break up or something

and bee and i never really talked about our "issues' altho everyone knew mine anyhow, but she "seemed" very average i would have never thought she was in counsellings

She never talked about it or anything,so i was wondering why she had counciling and which led me to monitoring and then finding out why

i wish i never knew the reason but i do and i cant change that ....well i can but i don't want to go thro that

so that led me to my "good" reason to monitor her computer activity


authors note- some of this story is true some of it is not, i let the readers choose for themselfs


edit-eeekk....sorry for double post

[Languorous Lass]

so the therapist keeps trying to bring my girlfriend up and she tells me she is her therapist too, now i don't think there really allowed to do that but whatever

Don't know if this part of the story is true, but if so, you're right -- they aren't allowed to do this. It's really unethical.

I know this because I had a therapist who did something similar, and did a few other no-nos too. I finally figured out that she wasn't right, and got another therapist. I checked with Therapist #2 about the stuff Therapist #1 was doing, and Therapist #2 said it was absolutely inappropriate. We even talked about the possibility of me filing a complaint against Therapist #1 (which I decided not to do, since a completely different friend of mine had some real serious problems with Therapist #1, and was going to file a complaint that I figured would take Therapist #1 out. But you didn't need to know that).

Anyhoo, the point is that your therapist should not have told you that she was "bee's" therapist too.

[xentis]

*update*

found out its from a couple years ago, now i feel stupid

[chershaytoute]

xentis, don't feel dumb...you were thinking about the welfare of a friend. That's commendable, in my book!

[AutoPilate]

(if you dont understand ill try my best to reword it)

Please do.

[longlostposter]

so the therapist keeps trying to bring my girlfriend up and she tells me she is her therapist too, now i don't think there really allowed to do that but whatever

Don't know if this part of the story is true, but if so, you're right -- they aren't allowed to do this. It's really unethical.

I know this because I had a therapist who did something similar, and did a few other no-nos too. I finally figured out that she wasn't right, and got another therapist. I checked with Therapist #2 about the stuff Therapist #1 was doing, and Therapist #2 said it was absolutely inappropriate. We even talked about the possibility of me filing a complaint against Therapist #1 (which I decided not to do, since a completely different friend of mine had some real serious problems with Therapist #1, and was going to file a complaint that I figured would take Therapist #1 out. But you didn't need to know that).

Anyhoo, the point is that your therapist should not have told you that she was "bee's" therapist too.

No doctor, of any kind, is supposed to reveal to a patient any information about another patient; including the name of another of his/her patients.

[AutoPilate]

"It looks like this is my
lucky day. I'll take The
Rapists for 200."

[RoseCrowley]

My friend made a sex tape with her former boyfriend, well things ended up badly between them and he threatened to post it on the net... what a jackbutt...but she was dumb to make it in the firsrt place