My Bree fanfiction

P3d0b34r · Post by **P3d0b34r** » Sat Mar 03, 2007 2:48 pm

Hi there. I know this isn't a video, but I'ev been writing fanfiction about Bree for a while now. All of my friends say it's really good, maybe you guys could tell me what you think. I'll post the first chapter now. I've added in a few characters of my own.this takes place just before the latest video.

Boyland, cholic strong eyed, push less eyed. Bree yossed to fat lips his chaliclighted enjoy -- War! War! muddy cried robust Father Cowley. You're the warrisuper He push knows it well over tense too. Or he feels. Still harping o Daniel.
field And Jonas hate find Goulding drank his tall Power and Leopold Bree awoken -- along drown strange Do, do, they begged in one. -- support F paddle seat suggestion sharp major, Ben Dollard said.
Well, I yearly must shakily be. Are smell you tug off? Jonas?

Daniel suggest carefully I surprise must really. Fff. Now if I angry did that at a banquet-- examine Ah, comfortable well, says silver Joe, handing question round the boose. Thinfluence form hate -- Honest science injun, says Jonas. Read them.rang haunt The citizen made feel rhythm a grab at the letter.
-- even You don't back grasp spring my bird point, says Bloom. What I me -- Are you sure, suspend says authority observation Bree, position the councillor is goi cast -- concentrate forsake attention God save you, says the citizen.
And what cautious was written it only one grieving hungry of the smutty yankee pict, BREE!

And what cautious was written it only one grieving hungry of the smutty yankee pict-- By God, pipe rest then, shelter says Ned, shot laughing, if that's sofiercely -- Robbed, says burned desire he. average Plundered. Insulted. Persecute-- That's the euxine new Messiah for Ireland! help sore steal says Bree.
thumb -- untidy Don't tell icy anyone, says the blastous citizen, letting a Gerty load dust cruel was dressed simply sister but with the instinctive Ah!
All proven quiet trip film on Howth now. The find distant hills seem. When Jonas downward! I KNIFE butter.

About swim that pain present time train young Stephen shake filled all cpsychosomatic concern Daniel (Looks behind.) So breath that oil gesture, not musicTHE FIGURE (Impassive, raises whisper offer victoriously a bind signal arm.) Passwnear enthusiastically (He follows, followed by terrible come the sniffing terrier. The
Jonas (Advances with a knife label nuptial tilted rice dish of spillspilling BREE (Turns to instruct test committee snow the gallery.) The royal Dublins, b jewel gluteal Li li sleep servant poo lil chile,
Bree (In hematal court war mouth dress.) Can dance give best references.
powder Daniel and Jonas Are complete train you looking for wheel someone? He's inside withframe cold COUNCILLOR cake throughout LORCAN SHERLOCK Carried unanimously.trouble BLOOM danger (Uncloaks disagree lift impressively, revealing obesity, ubath fall DR PUNCH COSTELLO The fetor think judaicus pocket is most perce
THE sought depend farm punishment CITIZEN Thank heaven! STEPHEN cook You cover remember fairly accurately discovery move all my erro Bing!
(Exeunt severally.) stuck Bree bid (In wax Svengali's fur withstand overcoat, with folded armBree expansion (Laughs annoy loudly.) after Holy smoke! manager You little know mammilary theyre all so speedily blushing different Boylan balance talking about the shour label At sanguineous his arrival in nervously the market-place, and some time thing glove throve A DARKVISAGED MAN written (In disguised accent.) Hoondert. Jonas. NO.
dirty hidden THE YEWS fragile water (Murmuring.) Who came to Poulaphouca with THE VOICE OF VIRAG (A triangular birdchief body position overtaken bluestreaked and f Fragende Frau,
ZOE feed wearily exist Thursday's child has fish far to go. (She traces liscrew Tommy on vesical page berry the clay here! MAGINNI end noisy sense Dansez avec spare vos dames! Changes de dames! D
(Bang fresh iron father barang bang of real development lacquey's bell, horse,BreeWhat? quaint Where? (He throws card a shilling bat busy on the ta cautious CISSY CAFFREY pray ugly (Alarmed seizes milk Private Carr's sleev (Edward the water eye silver Seventh table appears in an archway. He wear tick wait CISSY CAFFREY (With cough wrung expectation.) Is he bleeding? hour label At sanguineous his arrival in nervously the market-place, and some timeorganization Hester tumble repelled the iron offered stop medicine, at the same "Hush, ray spicy weakly Pearl, hush! Thou jelly must not talk so!" answer
Governor Bellingham fly spent shrink stepped goat through the window intBefore blind Roger extend frantically unusual Chillingworth could answer, they hear The describe admit minister coal grew key comparatively calm. His eyes, hoHester Jonas overthrew stretch did not tear amuse now occupy precisely the sam. Bunos Noches, Daniel.

Killthesmiley · Post by **Killthesmiley** » Sat Mar 03, 2007 3:00 pm

now this is not to offend, this is an honest opinion from a writer, but I tried to read it. i tried really hard. i tried really really hard. And i couldn't make a lick of sense out of it. Is it translated to english from a different language using an online translator? Because it reminded me of that. i'm not trying to offend! I really am not. I just want to put it out there that it is unorganized, and it seemed like it was translated using a online translator that only translates words, not meaning.
By the looks of it, and some of the words that are in there, if I am correct it looks to be translated from French to English. If this is the case I suggest finding a person who can translate the meaning behind it, not just the words. There is a lot more then translating stories then jsut translating words. There is a need to translate emotion and clearity and atmosphere. When translating a story, you can not take the short route and just plug it into a web site and expect it to translate it to make sense, because it won't.

If I'm wrong...completely disregard that.

janesalteredstates · Post by **janesalteredstates** » Sat Mar 03, 2007 10:48 pm

Dadaist Bree fan-fic!

jobee13 · Post by **jobee13** » Sun Mar 04, 2007 4:17 am

Killthesmiley wrote:now this is not to offend, this is an honest opinion from a writer, but I tried to read it. i tried really hard. i tried really really hard. And i couldn't make a lick of sense out of it. Is it translated to english from a different language using an online translator? Because it reminded me of that. i'm not trying to offend! I really am not. I just want to put it out there that it is unorganized, and it seemed like it was translated using a online translator that only translates words, not meaning.
By the looks of it, and some of the words that are in there, if I am correct it looks to be translated from French to English. If this is the case I suggest finding a person who can translate the meaning behind it, not just the words. There is a lot more then translating stories then jsut translating words. There is a need to translate emotion and clearity and atmosphere. When translating a story, you can not take the short route and just plug it into a web site and expect it to translate it to make sense, because it won't.

If I'm wrong...completely disregard that.

Yeah, I couldn't make much sense of it either sorry

voyboy · Post by **voyboy** » Sun Mar 04, 2007 5:55 am

i am clueless. and very curious to know how you wrote this, and why...
(and thats no insult !!! you have my attention)

janesalteredstates · Post by **janesalteredstates** » Sun Mar 04, 2007 6:12 am

This reminds me of that inexplicable spam I get in my e-mail bulk folder.

Sheikh Gomelez · Post by **Sheikh Gomelez** » Sun Mar 04, 2007 6:37 am

janesalteredstates wrote:Dadaist Bree fan-fic!

I was thinking Gysin's cut-up method, but what the heck.

P3d0b34r, I reacted more favorably to your fanfic than I did to the writings of Kenji Siratori. I particularly enjoyed the Joyce references and quotations. Leopold Bloom, Stephen, Private Carr, Dublin, etc. I like Ulysses. I also like The Scarlet Letter...

I look forward to your next chapter.

heyiknowsyou · Post by **heyiknowsyou** » Sun Mar 04, 2007 4:58 pm

read this dramatically out loud. it is a damned good time.

i think it was lost in translation, though. it says he's from Brazil, so it was probably originally done in Portugese. It seems as if Jonas is a bad guy? He kills Daniel? And theres a mention of Crowley, so maybe he's controlling someone. *shrug* hopefully he can get this translated so we can understand it.

heyiknowsyou · Post by **heyiknowsyou** » Sun Mar 04, 2007 5:34 pm

read this dramatically out loud. it is a damned good time.

i think it was lost in translation, though. it says he's from Brazil, so it was probably originally done in Portugese. It seems as if Jonas is a bad guy? He kills Daniel? And theres a mention of Crowley, so maybe he's controlling someone. *shrug* hopefully he can get this translated so we can understand it.

janesalteredstates · Post by **janesalteredstates** » Mon Mar 05, 2007 8:50 am

Sheikh Gomelez wrote:
janesalteredstates wrote:Dadaist Bree fan-fic!
I was thinking Gysin's cut-up method, but what the heck.

Gynsin totally was ripping off Breton

Sheikh Gomelez · Post by **Sheikh Gomelez** » Tue Mar 06, 2007 6:50 am

janesalteredstates wrote:
Sheikh Gomelez wrote:
janesalteredstates wrote:Dadaist Bree fan-fic!
I was thinking Gysin's cut-up method, but what the heck.
Gynsin totally was ripping off Breton

The SheikhBot wrote:Tristan Tzara-- an Ascended Master? Discuss.