Tech support war stories...

Post by **wintermute** » Thu Dec 14, 2006 11:03 am

Didn't want to highjack the funny pictures thread (any further

), so I thought I'd make a thread for our funny support stories

At the ISP I worked for, we had a user who liked to call support while she was drunk. She once insisted that he had a virus that made "I like smelly underwear" appear on her screen while she was typing... Apparently she fixed the problem herself by sobering up

'mute

ForeverMourn · Post by **ForeverMourn** » Thu Dec 14, 2006 11:18 am

HAHAHAHAHA! Poor Lady!

On my first day at support I was so pumped and ready to have a good day!

Well my first few calls went okay... kind of boring... Then around lunch time I got a call from a lady who said the computer shut off and wouldn't turn back on...

I went through half of the solutions with her, when finally it dawned on me to ask about the Power Supply cord. She asked if the power supply cord was in the back, I put her on hold and transferred her call to my Boss.

I couldn't finish that call with a professional voice.

Want to know what the problem was? She unplugged the computer to test a DVD player and didn't plug it back in.

Ziola · Post by **Ziola** » Thu Dec 14, 2006 11:22 am

As dumb as I am, even I know to make sure everything is plugged in!

Killthesmiley · Post by **Killthesmiley** » Thu Dec 14, 2006 11:26 am

my dad used to be in tech support...

he used to get
"where is the 'any key'" every day at least five times. i used to laugh my ass off...

this is when i was nine! NINE PEOPLE!!! if a nine year old knows there isn't such a thing as an any key...then you should too!

ForeverMourn · Post by **ForeverMourn** » Thu Dec 14, 2006 11:28 am

I had a lot of ANY KEY calls, but I thought it'd be TOO much to put that here! The Computers would prompt, "Press Any Key To Begin EOD Closeout."

Maybe that's why I didn't find the "any key" joke too funny... Hahahaha.

Post by **wintermute** » Thu Dec 14, 2006 11:49 am

I also worked as the head bench tech at a local retail shop who dealt in both new and used PC hardware (pre-Y2K, so there was a pretty big market for that). Someone brought in a PC that had the CD drive tray duct-taped back on, in the out position, and tried to sell the system to us that way. We questioned him about it and... Well... Ya know the urban legend about the cup holder? Yup! You guessed it! He thought his mug had simply been too heavy for his cup holder!

We also had someone jam a CD in their 5 1/4" floppy drive. CD drives weren't quite standard on a new PC, and 5 1/4" drives still weren't quite phased out yet, so I could *almost* see where they'd be confused

'mute

AutoPilate · Post by **AutoPilate** » Thu Dec 14, 2006 1:19 pm

I love when people try to post pictures on fora and just try to link to their C: drive with the [img] tag?

We're all yelling about the red x and they're all like "But I see it just fine!"

I usually calmly explain that this is because it's cached on their browser. Then I take them through the steps:

1. Turn off computer.

2. Unplug and put everything back in their boxes.

3. Donate the computer to a school or something, because you know f***-all about computers.

Post by **wintermute** » Thu Dec 14, 2006 1:23 pm

I once had someone try to return an obviously blown-up modem. Because it was plug-n-play, and they had Windows 95, they went to Add New Hardware in Control Panel, waited for Windows to start scanning for new hardware, then plugged it into a PCI slot. They thought it was somehow the store's fault

'mute

PushedButton · Post by **PushedButton** » Thu Dec 14, 2006 1:29 pm

A guy at work bough a set of 5.1 speakers for a house I work at.
He wanted the cables to reach all round the room, so I said it would be fine to go and get some extension leads for the phono sockets so the speakers would reach each corner of the room.

When I went back he'd cut then cables off and thrown the ends out and asked if I would install them for him.

iamcool · Post by **iamcool** » Thu Dec 14, 2006 1:32 pm

the only story like that i have is when my mate got a knew phone, the button to turn it on was on the top, but he was pressing the button to hang up
so he went back to the shop n aid its not working n the guy just turned it on
my mate was guttered, it was soooo funny

Cuddlebunni · Post by **Cuddlebunni** » Thu Dec 14, 2006 1:32 pm

Okay so I dont have a Tech Support story, but can I tell another job related one? Im not tryin to thread jack mute I promise!!

Okay so my very first job was at a hotel, working in the breakfast room during the continental breakfast. I would greet the guests, refiil the coffee fruit and danishes etc, then clean up afterwards.

The hotel also used this room as a "waiting room" for guests who check in early and the room is not ready.. So they could relax, use the restroom etc.

ANyways, one day just as I was finished cleaning up, a lady came in and pooed all over my nice clean mopped floor.

She didnt even try to clean it up! Just left it there!

Needless to say, I no longer work there.

Sorry for this disgusting story, just had to share.

iamcool · Post by **iamcool** » Thu Dec 14, 2006 1:33 pm

u shud change the thread name to just "funny and true stories" or something lol

iamcool · Post by **iamcool** » Thu Dec 14, 2006 1:36 pm

she pooed on your mop?

what a normal thing to do

Post by **wintermute** » Thu Dec 14, 2006 1:41 pm

If we're gonna move away from tech support and go to just work-related, then my current company does random drug screening for the local probation departments, so I've got even more of them! (drug-abusing probationers aren't exactly the smartest bunch around

) For instance, we have a metal detector leading to our drug testing department because some of these folks that we're dealing with are violent offenders, and we want to protect our employees. Anyhow, we had one guy show up to do his drug screen... with his crack spoon in his pocket!

'mute

ForeverMourn · Post by **ForeverMourn** » Thu Dec 14, 2006 1:46 pm

Crack spoon hahahahaha