Lonelygirl15

Another video attempt from KTS here!!
MILES ARE YOU READING???

We're in the hall, outside the bathroom door. Daniel and jonas are looking at each other.
Jonas motions with his hand 1-2-3
The open the door.
video is on bree sitting in the corner.
daniel>"Bree..."
bree>LEAVE ME ALONE!!!!
jonas>bree come on
daniel>we're just...
bree>GET OUT
(this can go on for as long as you want.)

Bree gets up to push them out. Jonas grabs her, picks her up and carries ehr out the door.
Next shot is on a bed. Bree is crying & screaming

(ok guys no sick thoughts here....)

BREE> LEAVE ME THE HELL ALONE!!!!!!!!!!
Jonas> you have to talk to us.
BREE> LEAVE ME ALONE. I'M NOT LISTENING LALALALALA (repeats this while jonas and daniel talk to her)
Jonas> BREE YOU HAVE TO TALK TO US
daniel> BREE IF YOU DON'T TALK TO US I'M LEAVING. I'VE F*CKING HAD IT (edit for content if you will)

silence

daniel>YOU CAN'T EXPECT US TO PUT UP WITH THIS ANYMORE. I'VE LEFT EVERYTHING.MY JOB MY SCHOOL MY F*CKING FUTURE BREE.
bree>STOP TRYING TO MAKE ME FEEL GUILTY
daniel>WELL YOU SHOULD FEEL GUILTY

silence

jonas> daniel...

daniel> bree i've had it.
*pause*
(says obviously furious with himself)
I THOUGHT YOU WERE GOING TO BE MY FUTURE...
*looks at bree, collapses in front of her [or not thats a little dramatic] looks at her with sad sad SAD eyes*
I love you and all your doing is pushing us away. if you want my help you have to talk. or else....or else i'm going. i don't care anymore if they get me. if you can't trust me enough, and if you don't care about me enough...then its not worth it.

shot of bree with tears running down her face looking shocked...

END VIDEO


whacha think?

The plot is too dramatic and preoccupied with the Order for any romance right now. And Jonas was slightly Out Of Character.

Outside of that, though, this wasn't half bad. Definitely better than that other video script I saw a small while back...

lol tht wud be cool... i want a really dramatic vid like that

well i figure the only way they are going to get her to talk is to force her.
and i figure daniel will have enough of it.
plus it covers both romance and getting information out of her (possibly) because it looks like she's going to cave...
i even have both type of endings running through my brain right now.

Aw, I love that! This video NEEDS to happen. I think the part where it goes from close up of Daniel to close up of Bree seems kinda movie-ish, so that'll need to be tweeked (only a little bit) but the rest is fantastic! This should definitely be one of the next videos!!!!!

Loooooooooooove it.

its definately out of character and the ending would need work., but i LOVEEEE the idea of daniel professing his love for her.

i mean cmon. we all know that he wants to.

Daniel/Bree is too likely. Sure, it'll happen. But then what? No mas intellectual merit.

and jonas is like ' u love here?'

'i thought we were meant to be together ' *runs of like a girl*

iamcool wrote: and jonas is like ' u love here?'

'i thought we were meant to be together ' *runs of like a girl*

LOL you just made my day


jo

come to mine later and i will make your night too

Uh oh... Josh is at it again... LOL
===============
Kel, it's well written, but...

One: It's a little over the top, even if Daniel's fed up with everything.
Two: Jonas being there and not reacting at all to Daniel's profession of love to Bree is quite out of character.
Three: Even if this were to fly, and Bree were to break down and tell Daniel (and subsequently, Jonas) everything, what then? It changes the dynamic of the entire series. Not only will Bree feel pressure from the Order, but she'll also feel a different kind of pressure concerning Daniel, and how he'll react to her from now on. Remember, Bree is essentially a teenager.

One way I can see this working is if it is an alternate reality.

Not gonna happen. The newest vid,"Hiding in the Bathroom," basically says that Bree's sick of Daniel and Jonas pestering her.

Plus it's an awfully cliched plot. More appropriate for "The Young and the Restless" or a Harlequin novel.

Sorry, Kelly.