Children's Aid/Social Services

[silvermoon]

I hate to say it, knowing how much I love all my animal babies, but if it comes down to the dog or loosing your kids, I'm sure you know that the dog has to go.

If she's a pure bred, I'm sure you can sell/give her to a nice home. Interview the families and make sure she's going somewhere nice.

Is it right for them to make you do these things? Maybe not. Are they allowed to force you to do them or take your kids? Yes. Right or wrong, they are the one's in charge right now. Sucks big time, but just take a deep breath and forget about what you can't do and focus on what you can.

It'll suck to get rid of the dog, but you can. The computers that aren't plugged in? Are you actually using them? If not, box them up, sell them or throw them away. Have a yard sell and get rid of as much stuff as you can. Try to get rid of anything that you really don't need.

Have you looked into getting HUD housing? If you are truly unable to work, maybe they can help you find a big enough place to live that doesn't cost as much.

If daycares won't take younger children, what about advertising for a college student or a grandma type that can watch the kids while you work? Private home care is always an option, and usually much more affordable.

These people have the power to take your children and the judges are always going to side with them. Do whatever you have to do to placate them and get them off your backs. You're children are worth the sacrifices.


Good luck with everything. I'll say a little prayer that things work out best for all of you. Just stay calm and focus on doing what you have to do.

[wintermute]

oh..Canada...thats right..>.> I don't know! *goes to check websites*

Also might not be true if the courts have ordered it. That could make the situation worse.

The best advise I can give is to do what you can, and have faith in whatever deities you believe in that it will be enough to keep your children in the home.

FWIW, saying a dog "might" attack, when it has no history, is just asinine. Period. I hope the people who suggested it get mauled by a pit bull on their way home... And I'm totally willing to accept the law of threes that will come back on me for putting it out there. As a matter of fact, I'm pretty sure it would be the law of threes in action if they did get attacked.

'mute

[silvermoon]

I agree with everything BA said - very sound advice. Also, GET A LAWYER! Don't let anyone in your home without your lawyer present. Then keep your mouth shut and let your attorney do the talking.

Not to be rude, but if she can't afford to move or store things, how is she going to pay for a lawyer? It's extremely hard to find one's that will take a social servies case for cheap/pro bono.

[nobackspacebutton]

I agree with everything BA said - very sound advice. Also, GET A LAWYER! Don't let anyone in your home without your lawyer present. Then keep your mouth shut and let your attorney do the talking.

Not to be rude, but if she can't afford to move or store things, how is she going to pay for a lawyer? It's extremely hard to find one's that will take a social servies case for cheap/pro bono.

There are some lawyers that work very slowly..that are very cheap and take payment plans...I know in the US (not sure if in Canada) but if you cannot afford a lawyer, one can be appointed to you by the city...and they are free.

[silvermoon]

I agree with everything BA said - very sound advice. Also, GET A LAWYER! Don't let anyone in your home without your lawyer present. Then keep your mouth shut and let your attorney do the talking.

Not to be rude, but if she can't afford to move or store things, how is she going to pay for a lawyer? It's extremely hard to find one's that will take a social servies case for cheap/pro bono.

There are some lawyers that work very slowly..that are very cheap and take payment plans...I know in the US (not sure if in Canada) but if you cannot afford a lawyer, one can be appointed to you by the city...and they are free.

In the US lawyers can be appointed to you in a crimianl case. I would think that trying to fight social services would be considered a civil case, and I doubt that the city will pay for your lawyer. Worth checking into to make sure of the rules, though.

Kelly, do you belong to any kind of church that you could go to for help? Maybe they could give you some help with the storage aspect, or recommend some church lady who watches children to suplement her retirement? I'm sure they could give you some sort of support.

[wintermute]

I know in the US (not sure if in Canada) but if you cannot afford a lawyer, one can be appointed to you by the city...and they are free.

But many are doing it simply because it's a steady paycheck, not because they actually care.

I've got some experience with children's services through a contract we have with work (we deal with parents with drug problems...)... It is quite often in the child's best interest if they are left in the home. It is certainly cheaper to leave them in the home than any of the other options. Do the best you can to comply, and have faith...

'mute

[nobackspacebutton]

^ The church idea might be worth looking into.

I know a lot of families that have reached out to local churches for food and money and support.

[silvermoon]

This might seem like an extreme suggestion, but if you know you are in the right, that your dog is not dangerous, that you've done all you can and they are still coming after you...you could go to the media. Tell them you are being targetted, not helped. If your story gets out there, people are bound to rally around you. Perhaps volunteer a place to store stuff, or help you find an affordable place to live, volunteer to watch your kids until you can get established in a job.

Or how about working around your hubby's work hours, when he can watch the kids? When we first got married, my husband worked 8-5 and I worked the graveyard shift while the kids slept and got home at 7:30 am.

Or how about getting a job at a day care? Some will break the rules of age to let employees bring their own kids in with them while they work.

[nobackspacebutton]

Either way, Kelly, I hope things work out for the best for you.

You can change things, you just need to get up and do them. ^_^ I'm just saying that I believe in you and I know you can do it.

[7Harry7Potter7]

I'm really sorry this is happening to you. It sounds like they are full of sh**. I think the advice that everyone is giving you is really good.
Maybe if you have like a lot of extra stuff/clutter, have a yard sale! Get rid of all unnecessary stuff, and make a little extra money. Yeah, so it's the middle of February, but who cares? The extra money could go towards renting storage space, child proofing stuff, buying a shed? I don't know, whatever you need to for to get these people off your back!
As for the dog thing...wth? What effing idiots.

[Sami]

To go to the media seems to work

[wintermute]

Thread locked and negative comments (including those replying to the negative comments) removed, because someone can't seem to listen.

'mute

edit: merged Kelly's reply to keep it with the thread

[Killthesmiley]

I appreciate every ones concern and advice. I went offline for a while to do some thinking and an inventory of our stuff.

We are in Canada and there are some things that are different. Our lawyer is working for free. It started as a government paid lawyer, then as the situation just spiraled out of hand on the children's aid side, he decided to do the work for free.

as for the social workers, i have a really great one that I've been working with for years. But unfortunately he recently broke his hip. So the ground rules that we have set up between each other are not thrown out the window to make way for new social worker. So can she come in unannounced without lawyer present...yup. It sucks. But its true.

I'm not sure what the negatives comments were, but I want to explain something. Children's aid has been involved in my life since the day I was born. When I was a teenager, i was officially put into foster care because of wild and rebellious lifestyle I was living. Bad mistakes were made, and I was classified under a high risk category. I then had my first child when I was 15. Being classified under this high risk category in their eyes means that I am watched. And I will be watched for the rest of my life because of stupid guidelines that a group of "professionals" and "experts" of human behavior have set up. Its not a preference of mine, but I have agreed to it and have come to terms with it and I accept it. It's a consequence that I have to face for my mistakes.

My house has been deemed fit to live in and very clean. I have sever asthma, so uncleanliness is literally a life and death situation in my case. Also IF ANYONE PERSON ON THIS BOARD ACUSSES ME OF HITTING MY CHILD UNDERSTAND THIS: YOU KNOW ABSOLUTELY NOTHING OF MY LIFE. If you did, you would understand that even spanking my child is a HUGE HUGE HUGE no-no in my house! If you knew a thing...and inkling of what i went through as a child, you'd coward in a corner and piss your pants.